Healthy Lunches Only a Mother Would Eat

It’s back to school time.  Pencils, paper, books, school lunches and recess – it’s all coming back to me now.

Speaking of lunch, there’s been a push for healthier lunches for our kids.  I can’t argue with this logic since my own childrens’ preferences lean toward junk food. 

However, the “healthy” lunches that I have seen suggested are, to say the least, awful.  I think that visuals are needed here – they pretty much speak for themselves.

This is a “Bento” lunch- inspired by Japanese cuisine.  It’s supposed to be visually appealing and healthy.  However, if I can’t identify what I’m eating, I tend to NOT eat it.  I think most kids feel the same way.  For example, what is under those musical notes?  What are those musical notes made of anyhow?  Ick.

This mom probably got up a 5 am to make this masterpiece.  It’s truly clever.  Too bad that Billy threw it away after first showing it to all of his mystified friends and then trying to see if he could make WALL-E mobile.  By the way, what ARE WALL-E’s eyes?  Ewww….

Isn’t this colorful and visually appealing?  Too bad Suzy won’t be eating it – she couldn’t trade it either.  Also, if you have enough time in the morning to put garnishes on your child’s salad, I salute you, SuperMom.  Hope you penciled in a nap in the afternoon.

This is a suggestion from Women’sDay magazine.  It doesn’t look half bad, does it?  I would even eat it.  However, what planet did the author of this article come from?  What child has access to a charming plate in a basket?  How would they transport this sandwich?  Can you imagine the soggy bun after steeping in pulled pork juice for three hours?  Please…

Okay, come on now.  Please tell me what a busy mom who does NOT have time to mold rice into clever shapes or garnish dishes with carrot flowers should pack in their children’s lunches?

Now we’re talking. 

The other option is just to give my kids money and let them buy their lunches, thereby sending them down a path of bad health and destruction (according to the mommy foodies). 

Maybe I’ll be seeing some of you in bad mommy hell someday too?  That would be fun.  We can all eat lunch together.